if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my being single is dangerous.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
