Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
