something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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