I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
