So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
