It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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