I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
