I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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