Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
