its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
