i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
