I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
