what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
