try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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