remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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