you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
