ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
