You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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