My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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