i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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