I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
