Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
