was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
