one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
