Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
