Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
