I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
