She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
