Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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