just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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