its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
