You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
