just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This is classic penis vs brain.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize