the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
