I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
