I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
