so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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