is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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