It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
