i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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