I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
