i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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