i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
