She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
