look no pants
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
