he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's shark week go big or go home
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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