The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just want to make out with him forever
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize