one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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