I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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