ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We need a shit load of segways right now
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
