maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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