I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
