whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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