What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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