Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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