she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
