she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
