Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
