i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
